Went for my first appointment with the clinic today and yes, I have a date! Will I have the money with very short notice? Not so sure but, I have a date. Drum roll please........ 10th February. Yes, as in 2009 less than 3 weeks away. Yes I will be starting Optifast on Tuesday next week, havent had any "lasts" but here I am. Always worked well under pressure and lived by the rule that if it wasnt for the last minute, nothing would ever get done! So here we go. Money should be OK but I wont let myself get too excited until I know for sure. Should know tomorrow or Monday at the latest but if its going to be longer I will start Opti and pray for the best. Oh, and did I mention its my birthday smack bang in the middle of my optifast? And that NO ONE knows what I'm doing? I think alarm bells will be ringing when I'm sucking on lettuce leaves for my birthday!
But I'm so excited but I have a very tight lid on it until I find out for sure about the money. Here I am stressing about the money and I know the universe is laughing and saying "the money? Puh! Thats the easy bit!" soon I'll be all on my own in this and REALLY have something to stress about.
I'm already looking at the world in a massively different way and one of my old dreams has resurfaced. I never got to wear a wedding dress. I was pregnant when I got married and I wore a maternity dress. I had already gained 10kgs and I was sooooo uncomfortable and only 3 months pregnant but felt 8 months. So, what I DREEEEEAM of doing is being about a size 12 (less would be great but 12 will do) and going into a bridal shop and trying on the most gorgeous dress possible and having photos. I just want to know what it feels like. Dont necessarily want the wedding day or to wear a dress like that for a whole day or walk up an aisle like a mong but just the dress just to feel it on me mmmmmmmmmmm.......
Thats my dream... a bit Muriels Wedding but I dont care, its all I want as far as physical appearance goes. My main dream is to be free of the addiction of food. Oh sweet relief! To stop this vicious cycle of eating the wrong things or too much, feeling bad, looking fat, eating to feel better, feeling bad, looking fat blah blah blah. Over it.
Must start posting before shots and getting a ticker going! Wooo very exciting (you can tell I'm keeping a lid on it cant you?)