Thursday, September 30, 2010

Quick Pic Update

Just busting to get a pick or two so did it myself in the mirror anyhoo here it is..... No smoke and mirrors (well mirrors yes) taken at eye level and while wearing horizontal stripes (gasp!) and no my left boob is not smaller than the right just an optical illusion. Not the best pic but better than the attempt with the flash......

And thats me at 78kg (171pds) approx 18 months and 30kg post band and three weeks post gallbladder removal.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

30kg (66 pounds) Gone Check In

OK I've stopped bitching now - ungrateful cow that I am. My digestive system is mellowing out and learning to live without a gall bladder although it is different to before I had a gall bladder but anyhow, I'll cope. I had a small set back last week with a secondary bleed and my port was hurting like hell so I checked in with my fill doctor he explained it all and its now fine. I even went back to Sydney for that visit - my husband surprised me one afternoon and said get packing and off we went with an hours notice and it was excellent!

Wait a minute - back to bitching - after 18 months of struggling with a band and losing weight by the drip method (lil by lil) finally people notice - I cant believe you have to lose 30kg (66 pounds) for anyone to notice and THEN they think its because of illness ie: my gallbladder. I've lost about 3kgs from having my gallbladder out.... and this is why we dont rely on exterior gratification cause when you most need it you wont get it and when you learn to live without it it comes flooding in. Its such a back handed compliment but I guess I'm gonna find the bad in just about anything at the moment. I am extremely stoked about the whole weightloss thing dont get me wrong its awesome and I love buying new clothes and dressing me up every morning but my inspiration has stalled and I dont feel like writing anymore - its school holidays and the car has broken down and dead set - that'd sap the energy out of anyone!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Bittersweet Victory

So, my gallbladder is gone and so too it seems are the few kilos I carry around and lose and gain repeatedly from one day to the next. I'm still swollen and sore from the surgery but the scales read 78.6 and my hands and feet and general extremities are showing sinew I never knew I had. Happy Days!

Or are they??

As is want to happen in this shithole they call life you receive one wish fulfilled only to find another, usually harder to attain, wish surface on the scar the last one left behind. You see not having a gallbladder is kinda not just all weightloss and sinew it pretty much means if I eat fat or anything over a certain kilojoule amount per day I STILL have pain despite not having the organ that causes the said pain. How, you might ask?? Well, the gallbladder catches alot of the bile the liver pumps out when you eat something fatty or have a high kilojoule day (any kind of excess really) and when the liver does this massive overload now and the gallbladder aint there to regulate things it hurts your body especially the little healing ducts that have been chopped up. The flush of bile also causes diarrhea and the diarreah causes constipation the constipation causes pelvic congestion the congestion pushes on the now multitude of scars on my stomach and abdominal lining and I am one uncomfortable little camper. I may have only eaten maybe 200grams of food today but I am bloated and sore like I have eaten a full roast dinner dessert and all. All of this is OK if I eat tiny (cant eat too much of anything at all cause of all the scars pushing and hurting) little low joule amounts - as I should have learnt already with the band but this is the band on steroids this is no messing around this is like putting in two bands one to control quantity and one to control quality. And let me tell you this is shit!!!!!!!!!!

IN THE EXTREME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I can hear you all "its early days yet" (gallbladder only came out a week ago today) "its good for you" "its a blessing in disguise" etc etc etc but I am still going through the many stages of grief at the moment its 1.30 in the morning here and I'm uncomfortable just sitting at the desk. I am grieving and pining and spewing (aussie slang for really got the shits) and i just want my life back!!!!!! Where is the next health issue going to pop up?? I was so blind sided by this one. If I ignore the pain will the bad eating go to my heart next?? Is that where I'm headed??? I'm tired of operating this thing they call a body in this place they call earth its just too freakin hard sometimes. So why get your gallbladder out if the problem persists?? Its almost purely so the problem doesnt accelerate to the next level which is liver or pancreatic life threatening situations.

This is just shit.

I feel so sorry for myself. I am seriously a spoilt child chucking a tantrum right now. I have been going so good this week just focusing on getting over the operation and I was back at it and on full duties within 4 days. Its school holidays here next week and I was planning a driving trip back to Sydney to see everyone I love (nice thing to do when you feel like crap) but I have to do the driving alone and I just cant imagine sitting in that seat for that long (Its a 12 hour drive) and even with breaks etc etc I know I'm not up for it. My selfish prick of a husband was going to fly to sydney next weekend and drive us home but he doesnt want to so now I have to contact everyone tomorrow and tell them its all off and I just dont know how to say it - we've all been so excited about the trip it was all that was getting me through this week and now I know I cant do it and its 2am and I cant ring anyone or talk to anyone so sorry guys - you've copped it! I am now lost for words I want to keep typing so I feel like I'm with someone like someone is listening like someone is close by but theres just nothing left to say. Love youse all.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

My Gallbladder is GONE!!!!

Straight from holidays and into hospital and last Thursday night my gallbladder was removed in a very similar operation to the lapband. More to come just still a little hard to sit in one place for a period of time. Stay tuned!! Love youse all!!!!

Weight Loss From 27th January 2009