So, the support group meeting is primarily a farce. The staff try to "make a difference" and it just turns out a bit tedious and boring. However, the people and the "free time" we get to have to chat to each other is brilliant! I have met some truly hilarious, lovely, generous and mental people and it is not uncommon to still be standing chatting in the car park until 10pm (we are kicked out of the meeting room at 8pm). We talk all about the ridiculous mental things we do and how messed up we still are despite taking steps to unmess ourselves. The ridiculously skinny phsychologist who runs the group appears to be more messed up than us and had us doing the "mindful raisin" task which quite frankly was an insult and I told her so. When she asked us to express how we felt (in her best Neil from the Young Ones voice) I let loose told her I think it is criminal to give one raisin to overweight people at dinner time and then be lectured by an extremely thin woman about savouring that raisin and being "very mindful" of it - of course I also had to add in that it is obscene to be preached about how to eat by a girl who hasnt seen a steak since last century. She appreciated my honesty (I think the psychologists oath dictates that she must accept any expression of her patients feelings no matter how confronting or personally offensive). Everyone went very quiet after this and it seemed the meeting came to an abrupt and premature end but that worked out well for everyone because we were granted the freedom of "free speech" and we could all chat about how Cherry Ripes hurt on the way down and if get someone to pat you on the back you can get unstuck and continue eating a Big Mac.
Its all very sad really isnt it? We pick on the skinny girl (whats the difference between picking on the skinny girl or the fat girl?), we (I mean I) get the shits because I cant eat whatever I want (I want my cake and eat it too and the chiko roll and whatever else is going), we (I mean I) are given really good advice and we (I mean I) rubbish it even though I know its what is lacking and what I need to get ahead and we all revel in how bad we can possibly be and how we can abuse ourselves and our bands. Nice.
So my band seems to have been working a little more these days or I'm just not deliberately ignoring it. I still eat when I'm not hungry in order to avoid getting hungry at inappropriate times eg: while out or when there is no food or bad food around. I got stuck again last night on those hideous chips that got me stuck last time (will I EVER learn!) this time it didnt last as long but man it hurt!
So the scales have been a little kinder this week and I really am going to get a casual pass to the gym and there is a personal trainer session on Thursday mornings I can take Damian to and work out with some other mothers so I'm getting back on the horse so to speak (not the trainer and yes I attract hot trainers like a I attract the medical professionals also "I'm sorry hot trainer but I cant do a sit up because my gut rolls are in the way").
So off for another week - I really am going to try and reign in the nasty sting of bitterness and quell the stinking swap of resentment that has permeated my experience with this band for the last few weeks and try and make the most of it. Only a week to go to the magic 3rd fill.