Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Love is Gone

So, I go to see the dietician this morning cause I figure - what else is the skinny bitch there for other than to make me feel bad cause she's such a skinny bitch? Afterall, I AM having problems here and I like to share and damn it, its her job, so fix it skinny bitch! And the bottom line is...... diet and exercise or the band wont work!! Tah-dah!!!

I paid over $6000, got royally chopped up, humiliated myself (several times and continuously) in front of a not-so-bad-on-the-eye surgeon, went through shocking pain, suffered Optifilth, suffered nursing home liquids and gave up the ability to comfortably eat Cherry Ripes all to be told that I must now diet and exercise!!!! What is wrong with this f$%^& up world?????

Now please correct me if I'm wrong - but I got a band because...... and let me think hard...... I am ABSOLUTELY shite at the diet and exercise thing???? If I could diet and exercise I'm pretty sure I wouldnt be 94 95 93 92 95 94 93 93 94 freaking-shithole kgs! I thought dieting was over once I got the band. That I would feel full and not even have to think about the kilojoules in any given food stuff because I could only ever eat a "safe" amount???!?!!? That even if I ate pure lard all day I couldnt eat enough to do any damage!!!!?!??!?! Talk about freaking well let down. This is shiteness in the extreme. I hate this. And I'm pretty sure my blog says the same thing at around about the same time last month and i was begging for another fill and dejavu! Here I am again!

How many more f%^&ing fills do I need to have to make this work? Will I be that poor sad loser that even a band cant stop? Even Skinny Bitch thinks I should go for another fill but the doctor said only once a month last time and she cant override that. What good is it to be skinny if you still cant get your own way?

And my mother, god love her, now looks at me with even MORE disappointment in her eyes. I'm sure she thought she would all of a sudden end up with Cindy Crawford for a daughter, meeting up with her for lunch and showing her off to all her work mates. But alas, no, she suggests I go back on Opti. "Bend over mother and I'll show you what I can do with Opti!" She keeps asking me hows it going I'm sure just to see if I'm a liar or not cause quite evidently I havent lost a gram and if I should say I have then we can put it down on record that Shaggs is officially a liar.

So much for zipping up my winter boots.

So much for the size 12 shirt dress.

So much for the wedding dress tryonmarathon.

This sux (cue Shaggs' teenage alter ego).

So Skinny Bitch says I have to watch what I eat and exercise. I think not being able to eat Cherry Ripes and having to physically wrangle Damien The Devil's Spawn pretty much qualifies me under the umbrella of diet and exercise. I am now off to my monthly support group meeting call me psychic, but I dont think this is going to end well.

I hate this.


  1. I know EXACTLY how you feel....honestly I do. You are not the only one. I am pretty sure 90% of banders have felt like this at some stage. I thought all the same things as you and I am pretty pissed off that it is actually going to take some EFFORT on my part to get the weight off.
    I go up and down with my emotions in regards to how I feel about my band like a prostitutes kickers!!!! One day I love it the next day I hate it. Having said that.....I am pretty happy with it at the moment after having had my FOURTH fill. I can't understand why you are made wait a month between fills. You KNOW when it isn't enough.......obviously your's is NOT ENOUGH......
    so try and go with it for a while and give it a chance. Once you have the right amount of fill in you will not feel as bad as you do now. You will be a crabby cow like me that wants to scoff something really, really bad and when I try it hurts like farking hell !!! Then I am mad as hell because I wanted to eat the farker and happy at the same time because I am in excruiating pain and my band wont let me!!!!!!!!

  2. Awww Shaggs, dont be down.. If you look at it like this.. You have only had the band a few months, and you've got it for a life time.. Gradually you will lose the weight, and be happy for it..
    I do think that your surgeon should have educated and made you much clearer on the fact that the band is only a tool, and some some magical fat sucker.. I too still struggle with that.. thinking I paid $19,000 fucking dollars to still have to work for it.. But in all honesty, I could not have shifted that waight that I already have, had I not got this band..
    You shouldn't deny yourself of EVERYTHING NAUGHTY.. no way.. you have to live, and live well.. I guess maybe each time you feel like eating something bad, think of the $6000 you spent.. And think of trying on all those wedding dresses... I'm sure your mum is proud of you, regardless of your wise..
    XX Nene

  3. I'm sorry. Days like these suck.

  4. I have no idea what to say here. I'm not a bander. Did anyone at your meeting have anything useful for you? Maybe you can call your dr in tears and beg for more fill?

  5. Dying to know what happened at your "meeting"!!!!

  6. Alright there sweetie....hold on. You really should not have to be in the situation. You got this Lapband---it's gotta work for you! I think you need it tightened and you need it done NOW! Do you think you just need to get a little more vocal? They have to see that it's not working for you--right?
    I will be completely honest here--in the beginning months things were very slow after the initial loss after the surgery. I mean--here I am 18+ months out and I am still 8 lbs from the 100 lb loss marker. I'm not bitching...I'm just sayin'. In the past year, I have lost about 25....ONLY 25. I try not to think about it that way. I try to focus in on the fact that I did lose. So....have faith...it will work for you. YOU might need to work with it more. And, by saying that--I am not talking about exercise and diet. I am talking about telling your doctor just what you need. You spent GOOD MONEY and you need help in reaping the benefits! So, yeah, you do need to diet and exercise. That's why you got your band....TO HELP YOU DO THAT!!!
    Go get 'em!!!
    It's really shitty when you feel so down! I'm so sorry!

  7. hahahaha oh god that whole post cracked me up. Pretty much cos I have been spewing out the same rant to anyone who will listen for the last couple of weeks. Bandster Hell for sure!!!


  8. I just love all you guys.... (sniff sniff)! "Another glass of chardie ploise"


Weight Loss From 27th January 2009