WARNING - SIZE 14 PIC TO COME!!!! STAY TUNED!!!!

A quick blog because something monumental happened to day - I bought size 14 pants (thats US size 10 - sounds so good!) You know, we can get so hung about numbers and our weight on the scales and whether or not people notice that we have lost weight etc etc etc. All I can say definitively is that this time last year my jeans (the ones I'm wearing in the pic to the left) were size 22 (I wouldnt even have considered wearing 3/4 pants - far too much skin showing!) and today I am comfortably wearing size 14 (3/4 jeans) from a standard shop not plus size just plain old plain old. I'm sure people look at me strangely when I say I've lost nearly 20kgs but I'm a pretty short girl and I've worked out that for every 5-7kgs I lose I also go down a size so maybe from now on instead of saying "I've lost nearly 20kgs" I'm going to say "I've gone down 4 dress sizes and before you pull a face or make a strange noise - stick it up your arse!"

We're also coming up to our one year anniversary (10th Feb) and it was this time last year I was making appointments and getting excited (and I was also at the lowest point in my physical life) and I've been thinking about all of the strange pre-conceived ideas I had about the band and how I thought it'd be and how different and how spectacular this reality is. I took some photos back then of me in my cozzie and some really bad ones when I was feeling really low and really hopeful about the band and I cant wait to find them and post them all for you - I really need to express the difference in my quality of life and my happiness that the band has brought to me - its really hard to express when you dont have a gobsmacking loss (well not to anyone else anyway - I'm stoked) to leave everyone gasping but man - my life has done a complete 360 in under 12 months. Its been gradual but it has actually happened and it cant be undone! YAY!

I've got fake tan on at the moment but I'll be getting dressed soon so I'll take a pic and post it then.

Check the gazongas on that!!!!

Yes the waist may be getting smaller and the arse a little more "junk in the trunk" and a little less "critical mass overload" but man, those titties just keep on keepin on! There I was trying to suck in the gut, adjust the hair, control the jowls and hold just the right yogic pose for the final pic update of 2009 and low and behold the puppies steal the show and give me a whole new world of situations to adjust and cope with. I just cant wait for the circus freak that will be me size 8 with size 22 E cup babies! The husband is beside himself with delight! I really didnt mean for this pic to be a boob fest but man - you can't suck in your chest and you cant keep a good boob down (actually mine stay down on their own - they require some serious scaffolding to stay up).

Anyhoo, I have just had a fill. Call me mental crazy or the holier than thou bandster of 2009 but the fact remains I got a fill one and a half weeks before xmas (aka - food fest). Thank you to me! And of course I'm celebrating with a champers - it is liquid after all and I swear if I drink anymore of the stuff I'll be able to put a nozzle on the above mentioned puppies and start pouring straight from the tap! I would like to hog out right about now and eat but I'm aware we're in crazy times with my fills at the moment and I'm erring on the side of caution from here on in.

I lied to get in for an appointment tonight also you will all be proud to know. I called in the ooger boogers and my old scamming grandma (she would cut in line and stand at the front and when someone would point out "there's a line up" she would put on her best dazed and confused old lady look and say "yes, I know isnt it terrible?"). I have waited 3 months for an appointment after appointments had been cancelled etc etc and my appointment was actually for next week. I have called everyday asking if there had been any cancellations and yesterday the woman mentioned that I should call at night and see if they could squeeze me in. Which got me thinking.....

So I drove an hour tonight and turned up without and appointment praying that the ooger boogers were right. I pretended my appointment was tonight and can you believe the computer was down?????? And can you believe they let me in and I got a fill????? Love my cowboy doctor and loved the receptionist so much I took her a present (another thing the ooger boogers suggested) so I feel we're karmically clean.

I can feel my fill which is a lovely sign and since I saw the cowboy 3 months ago I have lost 4.9 kilos so we were all very happy and back slapping etc and now I'm all set for xmas and I should be safe from going haywire on the food and I'm feeling ready for anything!

By the way, that photo was taken on Friday morning and is pretty much the way I've been feeling lately - just so blessed and so beautiful and so full of love and light! Puking kind of stuff I know but really - the world is a beautiful place.

Love to all of you beautiful bloggers and may you all have a beautiful day ahead of you.

(Un)Bride for a Day

I think we've spoken before of my unwedding day? The day I got married in a maternity dress, had fights with most of my family, shared a pig on a spit and coleslaw in my parents backyard and missed out on the wedding cake (and saying goodbye to most of the guests) because I was taking my grandmother in law home? You know the day?? Well, I was never really one for the whole white dress and walking down the aisle idea UNTIL I learnt that as a wife and mother you only get ONE DAY in your whole entire life that is ENTIRELY about you and your princess fantasies. Had I known back on the 21st November 1998 that I would no longer exist as an individual let alone an individual deserving of a few moments of princessness I would have gone the whole bridezilla and had a huge full one wedding frou frou dress and all!!!

So as you all also know, when I get down to a fantasy size I am going into a wedding boutique and having the time of my life trying on every gown possible preferrably just like the one in the pic (down the left hand side of the blog). Fun! It seems tho the universe had a whole new plan for me and hey, I'm along for the ride and I like where the ride took me on Wednesday last week!

I was with one of my lovely besties who was in town to pic up her unwedding dress. (The wedding or relationship isnt happening anymore) but we went in and she decided to try on her dress to take some pics to sell the dress on ebay. Well the lady who helped us out just couldnt have been more lovely and joyously sharing in the fun of being with the two unbrides. You see we had planned that I would try on my BFF's dress also to in some way experience the fantasy but something strange happened.....

During the course of trying on her dress (sorry back to the ooger boogers) there was a distinct presence with us (my bestie nursed her mother to her death about 12 years ago and mum was DEFINITELY there sending little messages and it became very apparent that BFF should keep her dress cause she'd be needing it!) The whole energy of the situation changed and it felt like we had cleansed and annointed the dress and that it should definitely be kept and I would definitely not try it on cause it would just feel wrong.

So, my lovely lady helped me try on one of theirs and can you believe the ooger boogers took me straight to where I found the ONLY size 18 frou frou dress in the place!!!!! In amongst the size 8 sheaths and the 2500 size 10 silk explosions my dress flung itself at me and before I knew what was happening I was being squished and choked into the dress of my dreams albeit a few sizes bigger than I'd planned but there was no time like the present. Never again would the stars align in such a fashion that the energy, the glorious boutique, the lovely sales assistant and my lovely BFF would all come together to be with me at that moment. As the zip was finally heaved into submission wedding bells rang loudly throughout the PA system in the shop (I kid you not!) and we were all moved to tears!! It was one of the most sublime and inexplicable moments of my life even these words do not describe the love, joy and utter fantasy of the moment.

Can you tell by the pics?

Thank you ooger boogers for pulling out all the stops.......

The Summer of Shaggs

OMG! Over a month without a post! There is so much to write about, pics to post and love to share and its coming I swear (just not right now!) Actually living life with not much time to write about it. Weight has stabilised around 87-88kg. Still love my band. Contemplating another fill before xmas to keep me honest over the festive season - remember girls (and boys) its Christmas DAY not Christmas MONTH! (another weight watchers gem!). Done some more fabulous shopping around Melbourne (freakin brilliant shopping!) and I am pleased to say I havent bought one black item - my wardrobe is a festival of colour!! A veritable rainbow of summer lovin! A lick of fake tan, a new haircut and dye job and man - this is the summer of Shaggs!!!!

To give you some idea of what we're dealing with here - this is a pic of me at the school trivia night collecting one of the major prizes.

Here are ten quick facts about that evening:

1. I sat at a table with at least three people whom I would consider "friends" and even a "best" friend!!!

2. I drank far too much

3. I made 80 people laugh and cheer for me (move over Britney)

4. I provided sexual innuendo for every single question asked no matter how dry eg: when asking Melbourne Cup (a famous horse race in Australia) questions such as "who rode the winner" I of course answered (very loudly) "my husband!!!"

5. I did not answer one single question correctly despite being famous for knowing useless crap ie: trivial facts.

6. I won the 2 major prizes of the evening (based on luck not correct answers) One was a hamper worth $700 and the other an 8GB MP3 video/audio player. Thank you to the ooger boogers for the luck cause let me tell you - I NEVER win anything! I dont mind so much but really it was an amazing feat. I had done some free readings that week for some very needy people and I guess it was the ooger boogers way of saying thanks (not necessary but very nice)

7. I was in the toilet when one of these prizes was won in the major raffle - thats how sure I was that I wasnt going to win

8. They found me in the toilet in order to give me the prize

9. I now have LOTS of friends around the neighbourhood who I have no recollection of ever meeting but they all seem to know me (and thats ok - lots of people waving and smiling with kids following up behind them in the school's uniform)

10. The only child in the room was at my table. BIG mistake! My daughters questioned my sobriety on the night later in the week (after talking to the said child) and when I crumbed and displayed horror and mortification they finished with "dont worry mum - he said you were hilarious" noice.

All I can say is "FUN". I made some lovely friends out of the night so I would consider it a success despite it getting kinda messy.

Bring on summer - Shaggs is READY!!!!

Does thinking about walking count?

I am horrified to say I didnt walk (totally forgot all about being accountable to you guys) and seeing as its 4am and I cant sleep I dont think I'll be walking this morning either - or maybe I will if I'm still up???

Dont know how I've managed to keep 3 children alive this long I'm so unreliable.

Cant put sentences together anymore.

Keep on me about this wont you guys?

Happy Life Boring Blogger

My life is almost perfect. If I had one of these bottle stoppers for the copious amounts of summer afternoon drinks I have been consuming I would be no happier but perhaps a little more complete and I would have an interesting little conversation starter.

Things are motoring along nicely here in the land of Shaggs. The weight has kind of plateaued which is actually a good thing for this time of the month (and not to mention the hedonistic life I have been leading) - I'm just riding the wave (of hormones and weight). I have to constantly pinch myself with my life at the moment - the warm weather is starting to outweigh the cold miserable weather, we go fishing, to the beach, the park, in the spa, we hire awesome boats and scoot around the bay, we have friends over for BBQ's, we (I) drink too much, friends and family come from all over to stay and holiday with us. People are coming for readings and work is picking up to a very nice level. Its lovely. No buts. No ifs and no "howevers".

Boring, hey?

I told you happy posts are nowhere near as entertaining as the comedic, hollow despair that is one of life's downslides.

I have questioned the tightness of my band on several occasions. Sometimes too tight and sometimes I wonder should I really be able to consume what and how much I do eat? Perplexes me. I know for sure its time to start pulling some weight of my own and I REALLY want this summer to be more comfortable and full of pretty summer cotton. I have also found myself slipping into the whole "eat whatever goes down" diet plan and going hard on the chips and chocolate and WAY too much alcohol. Having a nice life certainly brings far too many opportunities to eat and drink far too much and far too much fabulously tasty fatty food and drinks.

Perhaps I should use this boring post as an opportunity to put it out there........

I am going for a walk tomorrow morning and I expect you all to hold me to it. You must all ask via the comments section if I went for a walk and if I neglect to post for a week you know I haven't done it and I need to be called in for questioning. I really need your help on this one guys.

Can you all believe how my life has turned around from the pits of despair I found myself in 2 months ago? I made my wishes and I believe the universe has delivered. I still miss my family and friends in Sydney but my friends and lovely life here certainly ease the pain. Or it could be that my severe life threatening 3 monthly mood cycle hasnt yet reached its full swing? We'll see - lets keep an eye on the dates one month from now will I be psychotic again? And yes I do expect you all to remind me of this.

I love you, I honestly love you

Cant talk too in love.