New Year, New Decade, New Shaggs!

In the spirit of the New Year and some of my fellow bloggers coming clean about their tainted and tortured pasts I have decided to post these pics.

This is me this time last year. I was swollen, bloated, anxious, depressed and just (literally) itching to get out of my skin. I had called every single surgery who performed

lap banding and they were all closed and I just couldnt wait to speak to someone. I was banded almost one month exactly after these photos. I only allowed these photos to be taken because I knew one day soon I would be looking at them as pictures of "old shaggs".
On that note, I'd like to thank you all for being in my life and sharing your lives and advice with me and wish you all a Happy New Year full of dreams and wishes come true!

Festive 14!!!!

Yes as promised this is me in size 14 jeans!

Sorry about the arse shot - just couldnt help myself!

And that just about wraps up my New Years resolutions for 2010 - all done!

WARNING - SIZE 14 PIC TO COME!!!! STAY TUNED!!!!

A quick blog because something monumental happened to day - I bought size 14 pants (thats US size 10 - sounds so good!) You know, we can get so hung about numbers and our weight on the scales and whether or not people notice that we have lost weight etc etc etc. All I can say definitively is that this time last year my jeans (the ones I'm wearing in the pic to the left) were size 22 (I wouldnt even have considered wearing 3/4 pants - far too much skin showing!) and today I am comfortably wearing size 14 (3/4 jeans) from a standard shop not plus size just plain old plain old. I'm sure people look at me strangely when I say I've lost nearly 20kgs but I'm a pretty short girl and I've worked out that for every 5-7kgs I lose I also go down a size so maybe from now on instead of saying "I've lost nearly 20kgs" I'm going to say "I've gone down 4 dress sizes and before you pull a face or make a strange noise - stick it up your arse!"

We're also coming up to our one year anniversary (10th Feb) and it was this time last year I was making appointments and getting excited (and I was also at the lowest point in my physical life) and I've been thinking about all of the strange pre-conceived ideas I had about the band and how I thought it'd be and how different and how spectacular this reality is. I took some photos back then of me in my cozzie and some really bad ones when I was feeling really low and really hopeful about the band and I cant wait to find them and post them all for you - I really need to express the difference in my quality of life and my happiness that the band has brought to me - its really hard to express when you dont have a gobsmacking loss (well not to anyone else anyway - I'm stoked) to leave everyone gasping but man - my life has done a complete 360 in under 12 months. Its been gradual but it has actually happened and it cant be undone! YAY!

I've got fake tan on at the moment but I'll be getting dressed soon so I'll take a pic and post it then.

Check the gazongas on that!!!!

Yes the waist may be getting smaller and the arse a little more "junk in the trunk" and a little less "critical mass overload" but man, those titties just keep on keepin on! There I was trying to suck in the gut, adjust the hair, control the jowls and hold just the right yogic pose for the final pic update of 2009 and low and behold the puppies steal the show and give me a whole new world of situations to adjust and cope with. I just cant wait for the circus freak that will be me size 8 with size 22 E cup babies! The husband is beside himself with delight! I really didnt mean for this pic to be a boob fest but man - you can't suck in your chest and you cant keep a good boob down (actually mine stay down on their own - they require some serious scaffolding to stay up).

Anyhoo, I have just had a fill. Call me mental crazy or the holier than thou bandster of 2009 but the fact remains I got a fill one and a half weeks before xmas (aka - food fest). Thank you to me! And of course I'm celebrating with a champers - it is liquid after all and I swear if I drink anymore of the stuff I'll be able to put a nozzle on the above mentioned puppies and start pouring straight from the tap! I would like to hog out right about now and eat but I'm aware we're in crazy times with my fills at the moment and I'm erring on the side of caution from here on in.

I lied to get in for an appointment tonight also you will all be proud to know. I called in the ooger boogers and my old scamming grandma (she would cut in line and stand at the front and when someone would point out "there's a line up" she would put on her best dazed and confused old lady look and say "yes, I know isnt it terrible?"). I have waited 3 months for an appointment after appointments had been cancelled etc etc and my appointment was actually for next week. I have called everyday asking if there had been any cancellations and yesterday the woman mentioned that I should call at night and see if they could squeeze me in. Which got me thinking.....

So I drove an hour tonight and turned up without and appointment praying that the ooger boogers were right. I pretended my appointment was tonight and can you believe the computer was down?????? And can you believe they let me in and I got a fill????? Love my cowboy doctor and loved the receptionist so much I took her a present (another thing the ooger boogers suggested) so I feel we're karmically clean.

I can feel my fill which is a lovely sign and since I saw the cowboy 3 months ago I have lost 4.9 kilos so we were all very happy and back slapping etc and now I'm all set for xmas and I should be safe from going haywire on the food and I'm feeling ready for anything!

By the way, that photo was taken on Friday morning and is pretty much the way I've been feeling lately - just so blessed and so beautiful and so full of love and light! Puking kind of stuff I know but really - the world is a beautiful place.

Love to all of you beautiful bloggers and may you all have a beautiful day ahead of you.

(Un)Bride for a Day

I think we've spoken before of my unwedding day? The day I got married in a maternity dress, had fights with most of my family, shared a pig on a spit and coleslaw in my parents backyard and missed out on the wedding cake (and saying goodbye to most of the guests) because I was taking my grandmother in law home? You know the day?? Well, I was never really one for the whole white dress and walking down the aisle idea UNTIL I learnt that as a wife and mother you only get ONE DAY in your whole entire life that is ENTIRELY about you and your princess fantasies. Had I known back on the 21st November 1998 that I would no longer exist as an individual let alone an individual deserving of a few moments of princessness I would have gone the whole bridezilla and had a huge full one wedding frou frou dress and all!!!

So as you all also know, when I get down to a fantasy size I am going into a wedding boutique and having the time of my life trying on every gown possible preferrably just like the one in the pic (down the left hand side of the blog). Fun! It seems tho the universe had a whole new plan for me and hey, I'm along for the ride and I like where the ride took me on Wednesday last week!

I was with one of my lovely besties who was in town to pic up her unwedding dress. (The wedding or relationship isnt happening anymore) but we went in and she decided to try on her dress to take some pics to sell the dress on ebay. Well the lady who helped us out just couldnt have been more lovely and joyously sharing in the fun of being with the two unbrides. You see we had planned that I would try on my BFF's dress also to in some way experience the fantasy but something strange happened.....

During the course of trying on her dress (sorry back to the ooger boogers) there was a distinct presence with us (my bestie nursed her mother to her death about 12 years ago and mum was DEFINITELY there sending little messages and it became very apparent that BFF should keep her dress cause she'd be needing it!) The whole energy of the situation changed and it felt like we had cleansed and annointed the dress and that it should definitely be kept and I would definitely not try it on cause it would just feel wrong.

So, my lovely lady helped me try on one of theirs and can you believe the ooger boogers took me straight to where I found the ONLY size 18 frou frou dress in the place!!!!! In amongst the size 8 sheaths and the 2500 size 10 silk explosions my dress flung itself at me and before I knew what was happening I was being squished and choked into the dress of my dreams albeit a few sizes bigger than I'd planned but there was no time like the present. Never again would the stars align in such a fashion that the energy, the glorious boutique, the lovely sales assistant and my lovely BFF would all come together to be with me at that moment. As the zip was finally heaved into submission wedding bells rang loudly throughout the PA system in the shop (I kid you not!) and we were all moved to tears!! It was one of the most sublime and inexplicable moments of my life even these words do not describe the love, joy and utter fantasy of the moment.

Can you tell by the pics?

Thank you ooger boogers for pulling out all the stops.......