Love in the times of good and evil

You all know it kills me to write a "Happy Go Lucky" post and how un-entertaining they are so please switch over now cause here comes some love.

Kicking back with a pineapple cruiser, watching the sun set, fresh from a swim at the beach (yes its mid April and Autum here in sunny Sydney), showered, "seen to" (Shaggs by name Shaggsalot by nature), hair straightened and all is right in my world. Feeling tip top! And why is this so extraordinary to me? Well, its that time of the month here in Shaggsville (ie: ovulation - the actual time of the month is a complete anti climax compared to the roller coaster ride that is ovualtion) and it accounts for sooooo much here in my world.

First - weight gain. Yes I've gained a few hundred grams which in real terms means I've lost 1.5kg but that wont show til next week and thats ok too cause:

Second - next week is International Surgeons Visit here in Shaggsville. I should register a loss with Pretty Surgeon of the Year which slightly eases the discomfort of discussing obesity and lifting my top (not in a drunk pole dancing kind of way) for a man I should be having a drink with not being injected (not hot beef) by.

Third - my not so pretty moods. Enough said.

Fourth - my ability to eat a chiko roll and give "I'm going to stab you if you eat another calamari ring" look to my children as they go for my last calamari ring. Still not eating like I used to but still not eating like a bander.

So everything here is incredibly sparkly and pretty (could be the Cruisers (not Tomkat)). Husband has landed a job for an obscene amount of money (why is my life always great when everyone elses is always shite? Only we could land a massive career opportunity in the middle of a financial crisis and be broke during a market bloat) More on that later.

So I'm going to drink in the love (AKA alcohol) and enjoy this lovely time. Once again, very sorry for the lack of entertaining whinge fest but I'll be back more bitter than ever tomorrow and I think its time to tell you all about my boobs and the time I got my nipple stuck in a drawer. Fun times.

Ovulating and Oyster Sandwiches

Life is driving me f%^&ing mad! I'm so cranky and agro, EVERYTHING is just shitting me so hard core. I dont know if it my hormonal situation at the moment or the fact that I feel totally out of control with my eating and its getting me down. I have even tried to clean the house to get some feel good going on but to no avail.

Here's what I ate today: I need some advice on whether this is standard or ridiculous - I think its alot. Also - I am hoping by purging this day's worth of food in the blog I may be able to have a better one tomorrow.

Breakfast:
One mashed fried egg with a piece of shaved ham and some low fat grated tasty (a kind of basic omelette no oil for frying) fits a side plate (about 1 cup of food) I'd say a perfect breakfast
Low fat cappuccino

Lunch:
Starving by 12.3o so:
TWO WRAPS!! some chicken breast and beetroot and garlic sauce on a tortilla style flat bread (small size Old ElPaso) wrap but really? TWO?

Afternoon Tea:
Half an oyster sandwich (favourite food in the entire world)
Was that really necessary after that lunch?

Afternoon Tea II:
Some premium crackers and danish feta
Speechless

Dinner:
2-3 small size pieces of pizza
Dont feel like being in the kitchen after all that eating and this is the takeaway I never got after the fill

I think thats alot - dont you? I have my stomach banded and have had one fill and I can still eat all that!!! And I could keep going!???!?!? And I have CONTROLLED MYSELF!!!!!!!

If I am completely honest (once again - very hard for me to take my head out of the sand in order to do this) I have felt full and stopped eating accordingly instead of eating and having to stop myself before I felt full and then suffer the pain. And I do feel the food going down now - it can be a tight squeeze. But really, thats a lot of food. I may be having small meals but is having 6 of those meals still acceptable?

I really dont feel guilty either, its just like its out of my control so go hard. Or is that just a lame excuse (I'm good at those too). I think I'm at the tail end of the monthly eating binge (its ovulation time and my body thinks it needs to double its calorie intake to produce eggs - funny thing is I dont want to have sex when I've binged to the point of pain and discomfort so the eggs are pointless and they wouldnt fertilise anyway) that insatiable feeling IS coming and going. I dont think its here to stay (bloody better not) but it is horrible being a slave to it and its the reason why I got banded in the first place. Apparently third fill is the charm. I might also check out some herbal remedy or something for the extreme hormone experience.

Or maybe I should just have a drink - fixes everything else.....