Just a lil Monday morning love for you all! I've been catching up on some of my blog sistas and it just inspired me to have a little go!
I was just commenting on Nene's post (Fatness to Fitness) and I realised how different this journey is for everyone and even for the same person on a different day or time of the month etc etc. The band is as random as life itself! What one can eat another cant what I can eat today I cant eat tomorrow - its very peculiar! I'm pretty loose at the moment but I havent been abusing that. I'm not anymore hungry but a wider variety of foods go down which is all working quite nicely. I do however have an appointment with my cowboy doctor on 9th Feb and I'm looking forward to getting jacked up tight again (its kind of addictive once you've been there). I swear all you girls out there - if you're eating too much and getting hungry etc etc go and get a fill - I know it seems like a patronising thing to say but really - I spent too long farting around without enough fill and now that I know what this is shit is about man, go get a fill and THEN you'll know you're alive!!! I love it!
I've heard some interesting stories from around the traps about some unusal outcomes. One woman who was going great guns and had lost about 26kgs in a year or so has put what looks like about half of it back on cause her pouch has stretched! Interesting! I would have thought it was less about what your pouch can hold and more about what can fit comfortably through the hole???? Yes? No? Anyone else heard of this? I never got to ask her what happens from here and I'm trying to track her down. I'll keep you all posted. She was good at following all the rules too - or was she good at saying she was following the rules???? Hmmmm.......
So we're coming up to the one year anniversary for Shaggs (why the third person? The randomness of life I guess?) and I would REALLY love to just hit 20kgs lost (which requires another 3kg in my books although my doctor has 106kg recorded so he already thinks I've reached 20 kgs - whatever!) Maybe just to hit the 85 mark and be on the downhill run to the 70's???? Who knows who cares. All I know is that occaisionally some old memories and thoughts of a year ago come back to haunt me and I just cant believe how much I hated myself and the situation I was in. The torment around food!!
We went to Luna Park yesterday and I know for a fact I wouldnt have fit in half the rides I went on yesterday. I used to go on things and then awkwardly clamber out at the end of the ride and I could just feel everyone's disgust and repressed laughter at the fat chick and what the hell did she think she was doing. Yesterday I ran around like a teenager from one ride to another and not once did I question my ability to fit in a seat or belt. I saw quite a few women and girls who would have been me this time last year and man can I feel their pain. I just wish everyone could afford to get some help with obesity. We all have access to anti depressants, allergy medications, pain relief and the list goes on but not all of us can get the help we REALLY need for obesity. Everyone takes something to help them along when things aren't physically great but what can a food addict do??? The band has pushed aside all of the self imposed restrictions and problems I had when it came to dieting and has given me the best helping hand ever. It may have taken me a year to understand that the band is a diet tool and an aid in the fight against food addiction just like an anti depressant is to depression - we still have to do some work ourselves but the band makes it possible for us to be motiviated and inspired. When all the pain and self sabotage and the ability to abuse ourselves is gone - we can move on and help ourselves.
So on that note, I have put a bra on and taken a photo of myself on my baby - my treadmill! And while I was there I thought I'd take a shot of me in my chaff resistant bike shorts! I have another goal which is to lose 8cm off my calves so I fit into my beautiful Sandra Miller boots my husband bought me about 2 years ago. Whe I first got them they didnt do up AT ALL not one centremetre so its looking good. If I was taller and the biggest part of my calf was up higher where the boot is at its widest all would be good but alas, short fat shaggy must somehow melt 8cm off her industrial strength, built-for-business-not-beauty, Helga the Hungarian Hammer Thrower calves. So a walkin we must go! Nola and all my other lil doggie friends out there - notice the cute little puppy with the while ankle boot in the background oooh he's so cute!
Can I just say how shit the layout crap shit is on bogspot???? Check out the layout of these pics and text??? and if I try to change anything pictures just disappear??? Its crap!