Life is driving me f%^&ing mad! I'm so cranky and agro, EVERYTHING is just shitting me so hard core. I dont know if it my hormonal situation at the moment or the fact that I feel totally out of control with my eating and its getting me down. I have even tried to clean the house to get some feel good going on but to no avail.
Here's what I ate today: I need some advice on whether this is standard or ridiculous - I think its alot. Also - I am hoping by purging this day's worth of food in the blog I may be able to have a better one tomorrow.
Breakfast:
One mashed fried egg with a piece of shaved ham and some low fat grated tasty (a kind of basic omelette no oil for frying) fits a side plate (about 1 cup of food) I'd say a perfect breakfast
Low fat cappuccino
Lunch:
Starving by 12.3o so:
TWO WRAPS!! some chicken breast and beetroot and garlic sauce on a tortilla style flat bread (small size Old ElPaso) wrap but really? TWO?
Afternoon Tea:
Half an oyster sandwich (favourite food in the entire world)
Was that really necessary after that lunch?
Afternoon Tea II:
Some premium crackers and danish feta
Speechless
Dinner:
2-3 small size pieces of pizza
Dont feel like being in the kitchen after all that eating and this is the takeaway I never got after the fill
I think thats alot - dont you? I have my stomach banded and have had one fill and I can still eat all that!!! And I could keep going!???!?!? And I have CONTROLLED MYSELF!!!!!!!
If I am completely honest (once again - very hard for me to take my head out of the sand in order to do this) I have felt full and stopped eating accordingly instead of eating and having to stop myself before I felt full and then suffer the pain. And I do feel the food going down now - it can be a tight squeeze. But really, thats a lot of food. I may be having small meals but is having 6 of those meals still acceptable?
I really dont feel guilty either, its just like its out of my control so go hard. Or is that just a lame excuse (I'm good at those too). I think I'm at the tail end of the monthly eating binge (its ovulation time and my body thinks it needs to double its calorie intake to produce eggs - funny thing is I dont want to have sex when I've binged to the point of pain and discomfort so the eggs are pointless and they wouldnt fertilise anyway) that insatiable feeling IS coming and going. I dont think its here to stay (bloody better not) but it is horrible being a slave to it and its the reason why I got banded in the first place. Apparently third fill is the charm. I might also check out some herbal remedy or something for the extreme hormone experience.
Or maybe I should just have a drink - fixes everything else.....
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Weight Loss From 27th January 2009
Well, apparently I answered your question on my blog because I am farking gifted like that!!! However......I like to rattle on.......so......
ReplyDeleteIt has taken me four fills and nearly five months to get to where I am happy. I was up to 5.5 and then had only half a ml on Sunday just gone. I thought "Half a mil....that wont do anything!!"....but it has......finally!!! I cant believe the difference it has made!! Like I said I feel like the first week after the operation. I just CANNOT eat more even if I sulk, stomp my feet and go back to my food time after time.....it won't let me anymore!!!! and I am LOVING it!!!! It hurts....I LOVE the pain!! I think I am starving and dish up what I would normally eat and while I am dishing up I sneak a couple of mouthfuls.....straight away those couple of mouthfuls fill me up and I struggle to have a bit more of what I actually dished up!!.....this is what I WANTED....and what I suspect you want too??
I read what you ate today and just thought, "Baby...that wasn't filling up my left tooth cavity before Sunday!!" I was struggling...eating basically what I used to eat pre-band right up until that half a mil. Maybe a little less...but I think because I have been walking more I didn't put on any weight. But as you can see from my Goddess Graph...I stayed the same for several weeks just teetering on the edge of no return. I thank the band for that at least!!
So, like I said.....you know within a week as far as I am concerned wether or not you have enough fill. You have only had one fill....and I am guessing that is not enough yet. I kept going back and having 1ml at a time put in.....everyone is different. Then this time he listened to how I felt and I told him SOMETIMES I felt full but not often and he said only half a mil then.
So.....just hang in there......go back for another fill as soon as you can and keep going back until you are happy!!!! You will KNOW when it is right for you. Personally....I believe I will be one of the girls that likes to "live tight".....I don't want the option of eating "just a bit more" if I want to. I want the bastard band to stop me!!!!!!
Farking hell....apparently I have to be ANONYMOUS again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do I rave on???....much???? lol
Oyster Sandwhich?? WTF?!? I have never heard of having oysters on bread.. Not that I like oysters anyway.. lol..To be honest, I dont think you have anything majorly bad on your daily food diary. Apart from that second wrap.. Did you wait for 20 mins before eating the second one?? I never do.. lol.. I just scoff down and regret soon after.. We didnt put our weight on overnight... So it isnt going to melt away over night.. Just live life well, as you choose, and dont beat urself up over every little thing you eat.. If you're hungry, you're hungry.. wait till you get another fill or 2..
ReplyDeleteox Nene..