Born again bander

OK so keeping things in perspective now and on a more positive note, the scale Gods have been good to me and I am now 93.6kg!!!!!! Finally, over the 94's and into the 93's YAY! Thats 9kg loss in not quite 5 weeks. I must must must respect that, maintain it and nurture and definitely NOT forget the feeling when I stepped on those scales. I was going to blog about all the nasty things i have been doing (eg: "coal shovelling" thank you to Nola for that eloquent description, Nola likes to use a cake fork I however could use a toothpick and still get in enough to feel like a snooker ball going down all while eating faster than a dog with worms! Nice.) always so much funnier than the "saintly" blogs but instead, I'm moving on for now. Thank you to Nola and all the other bloggers and forum members who have held my hand and made me feel ok during this period (and I dont think it has passed just yet) I often wonder if I had known about all the people who abuse food in the same way as I always have would we have ended here? Probably. I have also seen an even darker place that I really dont think I want to visit - anything that involves an equivalent pain to that experienced post op I will try my hardest to avoid (thank you again Nola for sharing your experience and mentioning the pain - this can all become such a joke but I will NEVER forget the pain). The problem is that you dont know how far you've gone until its too late I am more than sure that I'll make it to that too far point one day, but for now, I live in mortal fear. I have been doing the whole "grass is alway greener on the other side of a fill" thing without enjoying this period for what it is - a time to heal and to try all different things and see how they work (Thank you Nene for reminding me of that) we always need to be reminded of our own best advice, dont we? Why cant we be our own best friends? Anyway, thank god for all the other friends out there who can tell us when we should pull our heads in enjoy what we have. I hope I havent come off holier than though (we all know I am most certainly not) I just dont think I have explained things very well here. I am so grateful for everyone sharing their awesome, hilarious, moving stories and I hope to god their warnings help me one day down the track. And if not, I can only wish to write a hilarious account of the kind of calibre only seen in Nola's brilliant blog. I will always be in awe of how she turns horror into humour!