In a funk again. Kind of. There's many things wrong with this week:
- Opti - need I say more
- My birthday - overindulged on wine totally ok with that but it feels like tonight I have gone back to a bit of hunger and withdrawals I want carbs badly.
- Husband been away all week - very hard, parenting alone, not much company all that goes with that
- PMT - need I say more
- The reality of surgery now that every other worry has passed (money, opti, waiting periods etc)
- Massively sore and itchy cold sore on my lip which further makes eating a shit thing to do (as if opti wasnt enough)
- Very tired, crash every night and then wide awake at 1am for hours
I know, all very minor worries but under the microscope of PMT and loneliness they're HUGE!
I also really dont believe that the weight loss to date (4.7kgs) reflects the amount of sacrifice and discomfort I have endured (woe is me!). Now I really know I'm whingeing - shitty about 4.7kgs now I'm shitting myself. Sorry guys....

I have actually been enjoying opti and have learnt so much about hunger and food etc its been all worth it just for that. Anyway, too despondant even for blogging - going now, losing the will to live.....