Old Years Resolutions for the New Year

So it had to be done, its that time of year and I've been thinking about all this stuff anyway and I might as well turn my thoughts into some kind of strategy for the new year - in other words - my New Years Resolutions.

I must preface this by saying when you start thinking about all the shoulda coulda wouldas in your life and all of the areas that need improving its really important to remember to love and accept yourself just the way you are before you can bring in change and having said that heres a list of things i would like to "bring in" in the New Year (as opposed to the old one I'm currently in).

1. Exercise (again!) no really, I wanna go there I wanna move I wanna shake my wild thing

2. Get excited about life/career again. Find some direction and move in that direction. A plan perhaps?? I dont know its 5 in the morning here???

3. Cut back on the booze (again!) no really. Theres always a reason to drink I can barely find a reason not to and then I remember my health and long term effects so I really must cut back.

4. Actually do something about the above ideas

I've already lost focus and I havent even finished the list let alone got started on it.... bah New Years is still 2 days away plenty of time yet....

I wanna hear what other people would like to change or do differently maybe then I'll feel inspired???

The Summer of Shaggs (again)

Well hello ladies (and I'm not sure so I'll throw in) and gentleman! Wow, Christmas already hey?? Dont know where to start so lets start at - My band is my baby I love that little piece of plastic and nothing reminds me more of just how much I love it than a stinking hot sweaty Melbourne summer and I am feeling suprisingly cool and loving my clothes, splashing out in colour and just generally loving it! I still have weird flashback moments when I find myself thinking or feeling like I did thirty kilos ago and then I remember like waking up from a dream that that is not my reality anymore??!! Its wonderful and surreal and very cool and comfortable! So I cracked the 77kg which takes me dangerously close to the 160 pounds (is that important??? dont think so really the numbers are truly irrelevant when you feel good anyway) HOWEVER! Seriously seriously want to and need to get into some kind of excercise and I know I've been saying this for a while but now I feel the YEARNING so thats gotta be a step up does it not???

Now speaking of exercise, here I am on Hamilton Island in Queensland (missed Oprah by a day!!!) bashing it out at the pool. And by bashing it out I mean having drinks and food brought to me and having my first ever experience of sitting on a beach sipping a Pina Colada and no I am not being a sarcastic bitch when I say that i was actually sitting on a beach sipping a Pina Colada!! Noice! It was such a beautiful time made all the more beautiful for not feeling like a huge sweaty whale and buying two of the most exquisite dresses! (One is pictured) not the best shot but I just had to show you guys the kinds of colour and pattern I am relishing in in comparison to the "uniform" you see to the left - the black top and jeans and yes that was summer!!! Just my husband and I went to Hamilton Island as a 12 year wedding anniversary present and it was truly spectacular we had such a great time but it is hard to thud back to reality!

Has anybody got any tips to help me get back into the exercise thang??? I walk the dog everyday but thats just a leisurely stroll. I wake up early enough to go in the morning but do you think I could be arsed??? Nup! I really really really need this. I live very close to a beautiful beach and it seems I have a serious dose of what I call middle class syndrome and I just cant be arsed. Theres something to be said for adversity bringing out the best in people cause deadset I'm slacking off at the moment cause things are pretty damn good. Boo frigedity hoo!!

Love you all bloggers you have no idea how much each and every one of you "touch" me if only I left comments half the time but I do just love you all!!

Be good or good at it!

xxxx

Shaggs

PS following suit from last year and having a fill 3 days before christmas will certainly keep me in line. Should have had a fill about a month ago but have had alot on that I wanted to be relaxed for but now its all over and fill here I come!

Quick Pic Update

Just busting to get a pick or two so did it myself in the mirror anyhoo here it is..... No smoke and mirrors (well mirrors yes) taken at eye level and while wearing horizontal stripes (gasp!) and no my left boob is not smaller than the right just an optical illusion. Not the best pic but better than the attempt with the flash......

And thats me at 78kg (171pds) approx 18 months and 30kg post band and three weeks post gallbladder removal.

30kg (66 pounds) Gone Check In

OK I've stopped bitching now - ungrateful cow that I am. My digestive system is mellowing out and learning to live without a gall bladder although it is different to before I had a gall bladder but anyhow, I'll cope. I had a small set back last week with a secondary bleed and my port was hurting like hell so I checked in with my fill doctor he explained it all and its now fine. I even went back to Sydney for that visit - my husband surprised me one afternoon and said get packing and off we went with an hours notice and it was excellent!

Wait a minute - back to bitching - after 18 months of struggling with a band and losing weight by the drip method (lil by lil) finally people notice - I cant believe you have to lose 30kg (66 pounds) for anyone to notice and THEN they think its because of illness ie: my gallbladder. I've lost about 3kgs from having my gallbladder out.... and this is why we dont rely on exterior gratification cause when you most need it you wont get it and when you learn to live without it it comes flooding in. Its such a back handed compliment but I guess I'm gonna find the bad in just about anything at the moment. I am extremely stoked about the whole weightloss thing dont get me wrong its awesome and I love buying new clothes and dressing me up every morning but my inspiration has stalled and I dont feel like writing anymore - its school holidays and the car has broken down and dead set - that'd sap the energy out of anyone!

Bittersweet Victory

So, my gallbladder is gone and so too it seems are the few kilos I carry around and lose and gain repeatedly from one day to the next. I'm still swollen and sore from the surgery but the scales read 78.6 and my hands and feet and general extremities are showing sinew I never knew I had. Happy Days!

Or are they??

As is want to happen in this shithole they call life you receive one wish fulfilled only to find another, usually harder to attain, wish surface on the scar the last one left behind. You see not having a gallbladder is kinda not just all weightloss and sinew it pretty much means if I eat fat or anything over a certain kilojoule amount per day I STILL have pain despite not having the organ that causes the said pain. How, you might ask?? Well, the gallbladder catches alot of the bile the liver pumps out when you eat something fatty or have a high kilojoule day (any kind of excess really) and when the liver does this massive overload now and the gallbladder aint there to regulate things it hurts your body especially the little healing ducts that have been chopped up. The flush of bile also causes diarrhea and the diarreah causes constipation the constipation causes pelvic congestion the congestion pushes on the now multitude of scars on my stomach and abdominal lining and I am one uncomfortable little camper. I may have only eaten maybe 200grams of food today but I am bloated and sore like I have eaten a full roast dinner dessert and all. All of this is OK if I eat tiny (cant eat too much of anything at all cause of all the scars pushing and hurting) little low joule amounts - as I should have learnt already with the band but this is the band on steroids this is no messing around this is like putting in two bands one to control quantity and one to control quality. And let me tell you this is shit!!!!!!!!!!

IN THE EXTREME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I can hear you all "its early days yet" (gallbladder only came out a week ago today) "its good for you" "its a blessing in disguise" etc etc etc but I am still going through the many stages of grief at the moment its 1.30 in the morning here and I'm uncomfortable just sitting at the desk. I am grieving and pining and spewing (aussie slang for really got the shits) and i just want my life back!!!!!! Where is the next health issue going to pop up?? I was so blind sided by this one. If I ignore the pain will the bad eating go to my heart next?? Is that where I'm headed??? I'm tired of operating this thing they call a body in this place they call earth its just too freakin hard sometimes. So why get your gallbladder out if the problem persists?? Its almost purely so the problem doesnt accelerate to the next level which is liver or pancreatic life threatening situations.

This is just shit.

I feel so sorry for myself. I am seriously a spoilt child chucking a tantrum right now. I have been going so good this week just focusing on getting over the operation and I was back at it and on full duties within 4 days. Its school holidays here next week and I was planning a driving trip back to Sydney to see everyone I love (nice thing to do when you feel like crap) but I have to do the driving alone and I just cant imagine sitting in that seat for that long (Its a 12 hour drive) and even with breaks etc etc I know I'm not up for it. My selfish prick of a husband was going to fly to sydney next weekend and drive us home but he doesnt want to so now I have to contact everyone tomorrow and tell them its all off and I just dont know how to say it - we've all been so excited about the trip it was all that was getting me through this week and now I know I cant do it and its 2am and I cant ring anyone or talk to anyone so sorry guys - you've copped it! I am now lost for words I want to keep typing so I feel like I'm with someone like someone is listening like someone is close by but theres just nothing left to say. Love youse all.

My Gallbladder is GONE!!!!

Straight from holidays and into hospital and last Thursday night my gallbladder was removed in a very similar operation to the lapband. More to come just still a little hard to sit in one place for a period of time. Stay tuned!! Love youse all!!!!

My Own Personal Xanadu

Hellloooooooooooo blogland! In the words of our illustrious Everything But the Girl - "and I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain"! I may not have been posting but I have been voyeuristically keeping up with all of my blogger buddies even if I dont always comment (or I do and then press the wrong button and it doesnt get posted!) Loving Amy (The Land of Cheese and Sunkist), Drazil, Lonicera, Nola, Nene and the list goes on and on. If it wasnt for you guys I kinda dont know if it would feel like I have any friends??? Its kinda sad too when I talk about "my friends" in everyday conversation and I've actually never met any of you but I think we all know each other better than our "real life" friends.

So, heres a short recap of my life for the past three months:

1. Hit the 80.0 mark about two weeks ago and have been hanging around 80 - 81 ever since but I'll get back to that.

2. Africa was AMAZING!!!! Will never ever forget it!!! Life is for living and seeing this amazing world not for working and scrimping and saving every cent to be kidded into believing you own a very small piece of land with some bricks and concrete on it. With that belief in mind we are off to Queensland for some summer loving in 10 days cause this Melbourne winter has been toooooooo long!!

3. Have a very full and complete understanding of my weight loss, eating and metabolic cycles and thus - am not anxious about teetering around the same weight for a few weeks cause thats what I do and before you know it I will be living in the 70's. With this in mind I have also come to the conclusion that, for now, the band has taken me as far as I can go and I have to start pulling some weight of my own (think I've been saying that for a while now!!?!?)

4. I freaking love myself and my band. Love Love Love!!!! I have never felt so good physically and psychologically. This photo was taken while we were out on a family trip to the aquarium and I feel it really captures the sense of joy and freedom I feel at the moment. You see, family days out have always been very fraught for me. I never knew what to wear or how to look and I always felt insecure around other mums especially in the city cause you get all the uber mums who are so damn gorgeous and fashionable in an "our house is full of Alessi" kinda way. Quite often too my husband would get depressed looking at other peoples wives and all up we'd just have some shit times - the day itself with the kids etc would be great - but there'd be a horrible bad taste in our mouths at the end at how shabby and inadequate we both felt. Shit - I know - but thats reality. And I also know you shouldnt let husbands treat you that way and make you feel shite for being you but I allowed it and that kinda shows you where I was at that time. Anyhow, now, I just feel gorgeous! I'm not thinking about food all day while we're out, I love what I wear and sad and gross but true, I get power from my husband fawning all over me and picking me out of the crowd as the MILF. Sick, yes but thats me now. Its not how I power my entire life but damn it, I've spent too many years as the sad frumpy mum to not take some delight in looking and feeling this way.

5. Summers a comin! And I'm feeling a little wobbly in the jiggly bits so I have been gently incorporating walking into my life I know I really need to hit the gym as I know I can get myself to a point where very little moves and god I love Amy (Land of Cheese and Sunkist) working out like a demon (but I also know when you've got a hot Personal Trainer its that much easier!). Part of me does crave it - I do love to sweat it out so maybe I should bite the bullet!? Its sounding better by the minute........

6. Just bought size 14 (US size 10) jeans and I mean TRUE size 14 from a shop for under 25's. Speechless. Oh and the jeans I am pictured in at the left as one of my "before the really fat days and the last time I tried to seriously diet (77kgs)" photos now fit me. The moment when they slid up my legs and did up was truly a spiritual moving moment (i just wrote that it was like looking into your baby's eyes for the first time but i deleted it for fear of some seriously well deserved harsh judgment but it was a pretty special moment)

7. I do hate blogging sometimes - I always seem to come out sounding like I'm blowing my own trumpet and its kinda tedious to hear but one of these days soon I'll post when I'm in a stinker of a mood - it can be pretty descriptive and kinda funny. So anyway, not all is roses and sunshine and I have been having my annual "reassess your life" period where everything kinda seems a bit shite but I have to say the good times are once again outweighing the bad. We have been here in Melbourne for a year now and the severe loneliness is no longer however I would like a greater range of people to hang with I pretty much spend 99% of my time with my seriously dysfunctional bestie and I do love her but even she's having dreams at night of her husband telling her we need to see less of each other. My husband is still looking earnestly for work in Queensland and right now I'm bored and ready to go again. I dont think I'll ever feel really settled or rooted to a place like I did in Sydney - that part of my heart has been broken now, nothing much could really do any more damage than that now.

Anyhoo more to come (i know i've said that before) but I really will try to stay on it now (i've said that too)....

The 100th post episode

100th

POST!!!

Sick of looking at that picture of me posing and dont have time for more than this

but I do love youse all!!

P.S. I weighed in at 83.0kg

P.S.S Going to Africa next week and thanks to my band I shouldnt get

confused for a stray hippo in the pool

20kg, 50 pounds but who's splitting hairs???

So once again a quickety quick post to celebrate the official loss of 20kg. Well, its kinda 20kg since my own first notings of weight since deciding to do this whole band thang but the doctors have 106kg on record so its 23kg and I know for a fact I got up to 107kg but anyway as far as this blog is concerned its 20kg!!!!! (sorry, 44pounds on blogger record and 50 pounds on doctors records either way I dont give a shite cause I am stoked!!!)

This is not the best pic of me ( I broke all rules and wore a white bra under black clothes and I'm all pink and blothchy from pissing on but I really dont give a poop I never thought I'd wear a lil black dress and knee high boots so I'm gonna celebrate it!

After 12 months and 20kgs heres a few things I have learnt:

1. I have just had another fill and with every fill I learnt something new. If you are experiencing pain when food goes down chances are you are not tight enough. Yes, you heard me you need to be tighter!!! Can you believe it?? You see as you get tighter the food goes down slower so then less pain BUT!!! You have to really stick to the rules and really, you have no choice BUT to stick to the rules. The only thing you need to remember is to eat slowly and everything else is taken care of via the band. If you are struggling with quantity and thinking about food and still killing yourself then your band is not tight enough!!! I h

ave learnt this throughout the last few fills. Number one rule you have to control is not to eat too fast and number two is dont eat about 2 hours before bed at least (or you'll see your food again through the night - not pretty). If you are still relying on will power and self control your band is not nearly tight enough.

2. Fluid tablets will get you through those really tight days of the month. One every couple of days is enough and only on the days you need them.

3. The band is not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. I still eat whatever I want but just a little bit of it the bad behaviour like scoffing and eating

massive gorging meals is completely eliminated with the band as is most really bad carbs like bread and pasta (altho you can have them but they're slow and not really worth it). I seriously dont feel deprived from the good things at all.

4. I would recommend ANYONE to get a band. My heart goes out to all the girls out there who kill themselves over quantity and will power etc who are slaves to food and the obsession of it - its a prison. And this is heaven. I could never have done this AGAIN without a band (yes I've lost the same 20kg and gained it back again and again and now I know this is it!). I love it!!! I am wearing ANYTHING i want and i feel fabulous!!! I have the energy to exercise and the love and respect for myself to want the best for me including healthful foods and a healthy

lifestyle. I am a born again girl! And heres my new boots to prove it!!!

I have always dreamt of wearing knee high boots and a little black skirt and I cried when I found these boots and I wear them like a girl on a mission they do things to me on a soul level.

I urge anyone out there considering a band or having written off the idea of a band to talk to someone who knows. The reality is SOOOOO different to the uneducated, freaky preconceived ideas we have about banding. I have family who have expressed their concerns despite my obvious happiness and looking fab and once I talked to them and educated them on how it actually is (my sister didnt even know it was reversible!!!!! but even if the thing popped through my chest and poked my eyes out I would still have it put back in).

Anyhoo enough preaching, lovin life, going to Africa on safari 22nd May with the family - should be fun even though its way outside my safety zone. Love youse all, follow you all even if I dont comment - my day isnt the same unless I've checked in on you all! Thank you for being a part of one of the most amazing stages of my life!

Pics Glorious Pics

So this is how my kitchen looks this morning and yet here I am flagrantly shootin the shit on my blog for the love and laughter of my blogger biatches. I am acutely aware that I have not blogged for some time and I am way overdue so here I am for another quickie post cause I am also acutely aware that at 3.30pm today my father in law is arriving for a visit from Queensland. My Third and final realisation this morning is that my father in law is certifiably obsessive compulsively clean (you might think "yay he can clean the kitchen") but no he is one of those judgemental OCD people who doesnt change the world for themselves but expects others to appropriate the world for them and while I am not going to go on a total cleaning frenzy and disinfect the lounge suite I will be doing something about the toilet roll on the kitchen bench as I can see why that might be a health hazard.

So, for your viewing pleasure here is a short pictorial of what I have been up to for the past month (or two).

We have been doing alot of card playing of late and my stoopid (lovably so) bestie thinks I have the advantage because of the Ooger Boogers so she thought it would be appropriate to cover her head in alfoil and do the Vulcan live long and prosper sign in order to ward off unwanted spirits who might want to help me win black jack. Needless to say - I still won. I have an affinity with Jacks (since doing a reading for a very powerful spirit called Jack). I got two Jacks and split them and then got dealt two more jacks for each other jack so yes I cleaned up. Thank you Jack.

Can I just say that I hate this blogspot is crap cause this is supposed to be the last pic but no its the first and I cant change that cause blogspot is CRAP!!!!! Its head lice season in Melbourne and this is me and my bestie delousing on valentines day. There is no better way to say you love someone than to pick nits out of their hair and give them a supportive hug even though they smell like kero.

I got trashed on my birthday. Do ya like the make up my BFF gave me? Things can get a little boring around here so sometimes I like to dress up and add a lil Shaggs spice to the mix. (Did I mention my five year old now calls me Shaggs?)
This is me bustin a move at Love Machine an ace (Melbourne word for tops) gay club in Prahan. This is my partner in crime my neice (yes she is over 18 I am a young aunty) she was down from Sydney for my birthday and we left the town in tatters.

I have a small problem and that is - when I've had a few bevvies I cant help but smack arses and hump legs. Aren't y'all lucky ur just my cyber friends????

Now I would love to continue this pic fest but quite frankly THIS pitiful effort has taken me an hour and I'm seriously un-zen in a f^&*(d off kind of way.

I love youse all.

The Pre-Post Post

I swear to god there's a post coming. I desperately have to update some photos (both here and on facebook) and I naively believe that for the next two weeks during our Aussie Easter School Holidays I will get heaps of time to post (ha!). But I will. I swear.

I have sooooo much news to share first and foremost:

1. I am the proud new owner of the most dazzlingly gorgeous spectacular knee high leather boots. I feel like a crazy hot arse sexy goddess stompin around in those babies. I nearly cried in the middle of Myer when I found them and they fit - I seriously had a major moment and I sent great prayers of praise to the lap band goddess herself. Far out I love this thing.

2. 85.2kg enough said

3. I am doing readings like a crazy lady purely by referrals only -lovin it - its goin off!

4. Melbourne is beyond description. Its sunny with a little cool breeze, not a hint of humidity and 31 degrees and its MARCH! Freakin love this place.

5. This band thing is paying off in the biggest way and I found out one of the ladies in the office at school has one and we're going to meetings together some time soon. I am shopping in normal shops and wearing clothes I never thought I would I am getting comments all over the place (I am a compliment slut - I'll take them wherever I can get them from whoever (except myself) sad - I know) I am all over the shop with love and wonderfulness for this thing. Freakin love it!

6. Love my blogger friends even tho I'm a bad blogger friend. Thank you all for keeping me amused even tho I'm not amusing you all.

Theres more - I swear its coming plus top pics and I think its time for a new blog skin..... I'm off a browsin....

The Love (or evil) that Dare Not Speak Its Name - Zantac

I would just love to keep on keepin on with the bloggin thang so here's all the shite - boring tidbits and all.

1. For the first time in a long time I am kinda outta control with the eating?? Very strange sensation. And I think I know the culprit. I have discovered Zantac. This is a pretty high potency antacid and whenever I take one its like my band does not exist. I can pretty much eat anything and these babies have 12 hour effectiveness so you're completely farked for a day!!!!! What!!!!! I discovered them by accident when far too much champagne and spicy food caused me to feel a "little uncomfortable". Now this would be a good thing if you know you're going for a special meal or a smorgo but man, I feel like a very wrong lil person right about now. I should NOT know this. And neither should you so forget everything I just told you....

2. I am sitting on an all time low. Sticking to the 86's (86 kgs or 189 pounds yes still a fattie) but I'm stoked but not sure how long the stokedness is going to last considering the Zantac effect and all.

3. Call me sad but this week I have found validation in the fact that I have found myself the recipient of four (4) blogger awards. Thats farkin amazing!!!! I may not have many "real life" friends but man, you cyber pals are GOING OFF!!!! I am going to address this issue in my next post but right now I have had too much chardonnary (wow that was my REAL spelling attempt) and cant track all the beautiful people I want to mention and cant risk leaving anyone out - you're all so freakin awesome and the reason I get online everyday. Just get another chardonnary before I continue.....

4. Dont have another fill til 20th April - enough said

5. Going into Zantac rehab as of tomorrow. I'll keep you posted on the DT's, sweats, stuck episodes and PBing.

6. Dont go near Zantac - very evil stuff - the band you're having when you're not having a band.

7. I have discovered this over the past week my research is detailed and conclusive - avoid Zantac at all costs!!!!! (depending on the desired outcome)

8. My research has made me wonder how much of my restriction is real "fill" and how much is swelling and bad reactions.... mmmmm.... interesting???

9. I have been reading over my blog to see what those 4 people found appealing and actually, many of the dreams I have dreamt in this forum have come true! thank you OGB's!! I read out my request for a new friend to my new friend (BFF for the past 6 months can you believe I've been in Melbourne for over 7 months) and we laughed at how perfectly the OGB's got it. She was tailored made for me! Love her!

10. And last but not least - I really have nothing to say..... best thing in my life at the moment is that my baby (AKA Damien) started school 4 weeks ago and I am Shaggs of the Eternally Luxurious. I have been doing readings but mostly, just going for massages coffees lunches etc etc. I am lovng my life. After 11 years of suffering some form of morning sickness, sleep deprivation, mastitis, toddler tantrums, playgroups and bored 4 year olds I am FREE AS A BIRD!!!!!!!!!!! Well, from 9 - 3.30 4 days a week til mid march. AND LOVING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

10. 5 Can someone please explain how the fark they watch Cougar Town???????

I really love you all ( thats not the chardonnary speaking) and I'll show you all in my next post I promise (fark I'm a drunk naughty concillatory husband!). I think one of the reasons I'm holding off doing my blog awards is because quite a few of the blogs I love dont even know I'm alive.... its unrequieted blog love..... poor me I'm just one of their 4 bagillion followers (bring on the paralysing chardonnary).... oi lurrrve u allllll.....

My shit blog wont insert a funny picture about what a reject I am..... thats how rejected I AM!

Where will it all end?????

Yes a year came and went. Yes I saw 86kg on the dot today - in the words of our lovely Nene - just a bowel movement away from 85kg! And it seems my boobs are getting bigger. Yep - an 18 - 20 DD translates to a 14 F! Yes F. I've told you before the gagongas just keep on keeping on and now its confirmed. I was wrestled and counselled and fitted at the local Bra's n Things and I walked out with five 14F bras with undies to match. Yes thats F. F for freakin fabulous. Farkin fantastic. Freakishly foolishly F cup femme fatale! Yep thats me. So where are we when (if) we get to size eight?? G H or maybe M cup for "My God! Magnificent M Mammaries"!!???? Will there be room in the bed??? Will my children recognise me? Will people stop me in the streets to feed their starving children???

By the way - this woman is NOT actually me. Yes it looks like me - like - EXACTLY! No I do not have a twin sister no I have not been "paparazzied" while vacationing in Cannes.

This is NOT me.

I've got MUCH worse pics of me in a cozzie.

The Perfect Sunset

Sorry, just had to post this I'm so bored with seeing my fat calf in a too small boot every time I open internet explorer.

Cue elevator music (instrumental "Girl from Impanema") and for your viewing pleasure......

this is sunset at our local beach...... (thats my 3 babies - their blog debut!)

I just never get tired of looking at this picture.......

It stirs something inside me in a way that (for once in my life) food just cannot do.......

Everyone rubbishes Melbourne for its weather etc but man, this is God's country! Best kept secret in Australia - no one would EVER know Melbourne has dazzling crystal clear beaches that compete only with the Whitsundays. And summer is GLORIOUS! All the heat of the tropical areas (like Sydney and Queensland) but with none of the humidity. This is the first summer in about 12 years I havent gained weight - I'm not bloated and swollen and dehydrated from constant sweating.

Life is truly beautiful! Remember - sometimes your dreams come true in the way you least expect them to!

These boots were made for walking

Just a lil Monday morning love for you all! I've been catching up on some of my blog sistas and it just inspired me to have a little go!

I was just commenting on Nene's post (Fatness to Fitness) and I realised how different this journey is for everyone and even for the same person on a different day or time of the month etc etc. The band is as random as life itself! What one can eat another cant what I can eat today I cant eat tomorrow - its very peculiar! I'm pretty loose at the moment but I havent been abusing that. I'm not anymore hungry but a wider variety of foods go down which is all working quite nicely. I do however have an appointment with my cowboy doctor on 9th Feb and I'm looking forward to getting jacked up tight again (its kind of addictive once you've been there). I swear all you girls out there - if you're eating too much and getting hungry etc etc go and get a fill - I know it seems like a patronising thing to say but really - I spent too long farting around without enough fill and now that I know what this is shit is about man, go get a fill and THEN you'll know you're alive!!! I love it!

I've heard some interesting stories from around the traps about some unusal outcomes. One woman who was going great guns and had lost about 26kgs in a year or so has put what looks like about half of it back on cause her pouch has stretched! Interesting! I would have thought it was less about what your pouch can hold and more about what can fit comfortably through the hole???? Yes? No? Anyone else heard of this? I never got to ask her what happens from here and I'm trying to track her down. I'll keep you all posted. She was good at following all the rules too - or was she good at saying she was following the rules???? Hmmmm.......

So we're coming up to the one year anniversary for Shaggs (why the third person? The randomness of life I guess?) and I would REALLY love to just hit 20kgs lost (which requires another 3kg in my books although my doctor has 106kg recorded so he already thinks I've reached 20 kgs - whatever!) Maybe just to hit the 85 mark and be on the downhill run to the 70's???? Who knows who cares. All I know is that occaisionally some old memories and thoughts of a year ago come back to haunt me and I just cant believe how much I hated myself and the situation I was in. The torment around food!!

We went to Luna Park yesterday and I know for a fact I wouldnt have fit in half the rides I went on yesterday. I used to go on things and then awkwardly clamber out at the end of the ride and I could just feel everyone's disgust and repressed laughter at the fat chick and what the hell did she think she was doing. Yesterday I ran around like a teenager from one ride to another and not once did I question my ability to fit in a seat or belt. I saw quite a few women and girls who would have been me this time last year and man can I feel their pain. I just wish everyone could afford to get some help with obesity. We all have access to anti depressants, allergy medications, pain relief and the list goes on but not all of us can get the help we REALLY need for obesity. Everyone takes something to help them along when things aren't physically great but what can a food addict do??? The band has pushed aside all of the self imposed restrictions and problems I had when it came to dieting and has given me the best helping hand ever. It may have taken me a year to understand that the band is a diet tool and an aid in the fight against food addiction just like an anti depressant is to depression - we still have to do some work ourselves but the band makes it possible for us to be motiviated and inspired. When all the pain and self sabotage and the ability to abuse ourselves is gone - we can move on and help ourselves.

So on that note, I have put a bra on and taken a photo of myself on my baby - my treadmill! And while I was there I thought I'd take a shot of me in my chaff resistant bike shorts! I have another goal which is to lose 8cm off my calves so I fit into my beautiful Sandra Miller boots my husband bought me about 2 years ago. Whe I first got them they didnt do up AT ALL not one centremetre so its looking good. If I was taller and the biggest part of my calf was up higher where the boot is at its widest all would be good but alas, short fat shaggy must somehow melt 8cm off her industrial strength, built-for-business-not-beauty, Helga the Hungarian Hammer Thrower calves. So a walkin we must go! Nola and all my other lil doggie friends out there - notice the cute little puppy with the while ankle boot in the background oooh he's so cute!

Can I just say how shit the layout crap shit is on bogspot???? Check out the layout of these pics and text??? and if I try to change anything pictures just disappear??? Its crap!

And the love continues.....

I'm trying to find the right words to express my latest love and novelty but theres just no entertaining way of saying - I am the proud owner of a treadmill!!! And I have shaken off the festive 2kgs Santa left in his sack for me just by having it in my house for the past week! I am beside myself with delight!!!

For all the spec junkies out there - it is a Bodyscience T940 as pictured (cant show you a pic of me on it as I am not usually very appropriately dressed for it). It is 2.5 horsepower with a little wider belt than most (43cm) goes to 16km per hour (never going to happen here!) and has a bottle holder as well as mobile phone and tv remote control holders (i'm pretty sure thats what that extra bottle holder is for). I'm just freaking in love! I jump on and off all day long, I watch Oprah, I catch up with friends on the phone I do five minutes here and there and I can feel and see the difference!!

I bought the treadmill second hand (same price as hiring for 6 months) and this particular model still has a good re-sale value as I am not at all delusional about the fact that I will probably be out of love in approx 3 weeks. I have it strategically placed next to the window for the beautiful view of the estate which happens to be right next to the telly (a quick nudge and its facing me and my treadmill) and is also conveniently located directly under my refridgerated air conditioning vent. I am not at all precious about where when how or what I am dressed in when I jump on and have been known to get on in my PJ's, barefoot and with no bra on (although I have learnt to wear bike shorts to avoid chaffin'). I am drinking water by the gallon and my skin is gorgeous and my cellulite and lumps and bumps are starting to smooth out. I'm drinking less alcohol and eating better (altho i need another fill - booked in for 9th feb) Far out am I in love! I'm on farking FIRE!!!

To give you an idea of the forces of destiny that lead me to my beautiful new pal I'll tell you the story of how we came to be together. Call me a nutter I know and accuse me of making something out of nothing but this is how my life with the Oooger Boogers (also known as the OGB's) works. It all started when my sister in law picked up a free treadmill and it got me thinking about having one in the home. I always loved the gym but get bogged down by when you can and cant go and the kind of scaffolding that goes into keeping my DD's contained while I jiggle away on the treadmill, the sweat, the fashions, the boredom and the need to jog everytime the personal trainer walks onto the gym floor etc etc.

So I researched many different treadmills and since I had to collect it myself it had to be within driving distance. During this time and for the weeks before I kept finding a St Christopher medal popping up around the house. I'm not religious at all but I know that St Christopher is the patron saint of travellers and I'm sure he was a good guy and all and I went to St Christophers primary school and I dig on all things freaky so I was wondering what it meant when he kept popping his little head up. Well, I found a treadmill I liked and it was listed by a "Christopher St Albans" which appeared to my addled brain as St Christopher not Christopher of St Albans and walking is travelling and St Albans is quite a way to travel from here but anyhoo I tried to ring the guy but didnt get a response even though I knew the OGB's were telling me this was my treadmill.

So I kept looking and I bid on some on ebay and I lost them all, negotiated with some etc etc and nothing came up when 3 days later St Christopher called and lo and behold the treadmill was not yet sold and he came down fifty bucks and we made a deal and went to pick it up. And of course when I turned up St Christopher was a priest. Of course. Thank you OGB's.

Does anyway else find this freaky and funny or is it just my need to find the OGB's in all that I do?

Oh and just in case you think I've forgotten - sorry I havent blogged for a while - I have been keeping up to date with all your stories even if I dont get to comment you're all in my heart all the time and I feel very priviledged to know you all!