The Love is Gone

So, I go to see the dietician this morning cause I figure - what else is the skinny bitch there for other than to make me feel bad cause she's such a skinny bitch? Afterall, I AM having problems here and I like to share and damn it, its her job, so fix it skinny bitch! And the bottom line is...... diet and exercise or the band wont work!! Tah-dah!!!

I paid over $6000, got royally chopped up, humiliated myself (several times and continuously) in front of a not-so-bad-on-the-eye surgeon, went through shocking pain, suffered Optifilth, suffered nursing home liquids and gave up the ability to comfortably eat Cherry Ripes all to be told that I must now diet and exercise!!!! What is wrong with this f$%^& up world?????

Now please correct me if I'm wrong - but I got a band because...... and let me think hard...... I am ABSOLUTELY shite at the diet and exercise thing???? If I could diet and exercise I'm pretty sure I wouldnt be 94 95 93 92 95 94 93 93 94 freaking-shithole kgs! I thought dieting was over once I got the band. That I would feel full and not even have to think about the kilojoules in any given food stuff because I could only ever eat a "safe" amount???!?!!? That even if I ate pure lard all day I couldnt eat enough to do any damage!!!!?!??!?! Talk about freaking well let down. This is shiteness in the extreme. I hate this. And I'm pretty sure my blog says the same thing at around about the same time last month and i was begging for another fill and dejavu! Here I am again!

How many more f%^&ing fills do I need to have to make this work? Will I be that poor sad loser that even a band cant stop? Even Skinny Bitch thinks I should go for another fill but the doctor said only once a month last time and she cant override that. What good is it to be skinny if you still cant get your own way?

And my mother, god love her, now looks at me with even MORE disappointment in her eyes. I'm sure she thought she would all of a sudden end up with Cindy Crawford for a daughter, meeting up with her for lunch and showing her off to all her work mates. But alas, no, she suggests I go back on Opti. "Bend over mother and I'll show you what I can do with Opti!" She keeps asking me hows it going I'm sure just to see if I'm a liar or not cause quite evidently I havent lost a gram and if I should say I have then we can put it down on record that Shaggs is officially a liar.

So much for zipping up my winter boots.

So much for the size 12 shirt dress.

So much for the wedding dress tryonmarathon.

This sux (cue Shaggs' teenage alter ego).

So Skinny Bitch says I have to watch what I eat and exercise. I think not being able to eat Cherry Ripes and having to physically wrangle Damien The Devil's Spawn pretty much qualifies me under the umbrella of diet and exercise. I am now off to my monthly support group meeting call me psychic, but I dont think this is going to end well.

I hate this.